


i might be holding on too tight

by notcalumhood



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Abusive Relationship, M/M, ashton is sort of like the glue in this fic, protective!calum, queen ashton, sorry luke is an asshole in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-28
Updated: 2014-11-28
Packaged: 2018-02-27 07:13:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2683970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notcalumhood/pseuds/notcalumhood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>michael didn’t exactly know how to react. luke of course ‘didn’t mean to’, and he wasn’t sure if he could believe that. he remembers when his dad would hit his mom, and it only got worse from there. but luke only hit him once. and he deserved it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i might be holding on too tight

**Author's Note:**

> the title is from 'one hundred sleepless nights' by pierce the veil!!

michael didn’t exactly know how to react. luke of course ‘didn’t mean to’, and he wasn’t sure if he could believe that. he remembers when his dad would hit his mom, and it only got worse from there. but luke only hit him once. and he deserved it. he was being a bit annoying (in his opinion, though, luke should’ve turned down the music), and he got slapped. luke went apologizing immediately, and michael forgave him. the second time was a different story. luke could’ve controlled his anger any other way, but decided to shove michael against a wall and slap him. as much as he apologized this time, michael wouldn’t have it. in a heartbeat he was packing his things into a small backpack, and he left the keys on the counter.   
ashton was right there when he knocked. he was there to rub michael’s back when he allowed himself to breakdown. this wasn’t the exact way he would’ve liked to meet ashton’s flatmate, but it was. he had woken up the poor boy, and ashton helped michael into the living room so he could go talk to ‘calum?’ in the kitchen. there was still an irritating stinging in michael’s left cheek, and he felt empathy for his mother for once in his life. surprisingly, calum was there for michael as well as ashton. instead of going back to bed (which michael would’ve done, to be honest), he sat down next to michael on the couch and put his arm around him. ashton tried to talk to him and calm him down, not that michael was listening. he hated it, but he felt bad for luke.   
‘how could i do that to him?’ michael thought. ‘i just left. i didn’t say goodbye or anything. i packed and left.’ although he knew if he had came out to the public with this, they’d go crazy saying things like ‘don’t blame yourself!’ ‘don’t blame the victim!’. and that just made michael feel even worse. he technically wasn’t in an abusive relationship. luke hit him twice. it’s not like he was getting beat everyday. when he told ashton about what he was thinking, how he felt guilty, ashton almost smacked some sense into him. literally. he tried to explain to michael that it was a ‘red flag’ and that if he had forgave luke the second time, luke would’ve thought it was okay to hit him. michael couldn’t help but start crying again, and when ashton left for work he locked himself in the bathroom. he was sobbing and he couldn’t help but glare at the envelope in his bag that he had grabbed last minute before he left. he eventually gave in and opened it, letting the small silver piece of metal slip out and into his shaking hand. it barely touched his skin. he had his sleeve rolled up, his fingers tracing over the white lines that were almost visible on his pale skin. he didn’t even have a chance to press it against his wrist when calum walked into the bathroom with nothing but a towel around his waist. michael felt his cheeks turn red when he realized calum was shirtless, but set into a state of panic once he also realized he was about to cut himself and that was the only thing calum was looking at. he started apologizing and calum walked out of the bathroom. michael felt himself start to shake again, and he was so caught up in what had just happened that he dropped the razor. it broke the silence in the room when the metal hit the cold tile floor.   
calum and michael grew closer after that. and even though he knew it was wrong, calum was falling for him. but he knew how broken michael was. he knew how he struggled with a lot. how he probably still wasn’t prepared for a relationship. he had just gotten out of one that was abusive, and no one in the flat could even enter a room that michael was in or touch him without warning first. michael was fragile. he was like a vase. it was easier to break him than it was to put him back together.   
and calum had to accept that, but he couldn’t. it wasn’t hard telling michael how he felt. it might’ve been one of the easiest things he’d done. the way michael reacted wasn’t as simple, though. he started crying, going on about how he felt the same way but he knew he’d screw everything up. calum stopped him from pacing and sat him down, and kissed michael. he probably should’ve asked to kiss him first, or given him a warning that he was going to kiss him, but it sort of just happened. michael kissed calum back, but scared himself and pulled away. calum was the one who apologized.   
michael was still uncertain about everything. and calum noticed that. so when it was three in the morning and he had his arms wrapped around michael in bed, he made sure michael was awake before kissing his cheek and shifting back into the position they were in before. he whispered something along the lines of ‘i won’t hurt you, mikey. i love you.’ and both michael and calum knew that they would be alright.


End file.
